Its never good enough!

Do you ever feel like no matter what you do or say, its never good enough? I mean you work yourself to the bare bones and give your heart and soul to something and you don't even get an acknowledgement that they recognized your achievement.

I'm almost to the point now where I want to give up. One thing about me, is I have always been a pleaser. I've always wanted people to be happy. No matter what I do, if they're not happy I will do what it takes to make it right. I've always been that way.

I think it comes from being a middle child. I'm a peacemaker by nature. I'm also a Libra which makes my zodiac sign the scales - Balance. That describes how I try and keep things. I want everything balanced. Everyone needs to be happy.

Well sometimes not everyone is going to be happy. And usually while making everyone else happy, I've been neglecting myself. And honestly, I’ve neglected my own happiness for way too long now; allowing everyone else around me to go on with their lives as though mine didn’t matter.

I like to do special things for people to make them feel good. To let them know that someone is thinking about them. I don’t expect anything in return. I do it because I love them or care. A lot of times, I’ll just be praying and I’ll get an impression from God and it’ll be, “hey so and so needs a note of encouragement today.” So I’ll automatically send an email or run down to the store and pick up a card and drop it in the mail.

That’s just who I am. I’ve always been that way. And I don’t want to change, but I find that its getting harder and harder when no one returns the kindness. And sometimes I just need a shoulder to cry on. Sometimes, it would be nice to open my mailbox and see a card in there; because right now, I’m just feeling very under appreciated. It seems like all I ever do lately is give, give, give. I’ve not been on the receiving end in a while.

Maybe I bring it all on myself. Maybe I over do it and expect too much from people. Or maybe I would just like to get a thank you card in the mail once in a while. I don’t know.

Maybe I’m just tired because its 2:15 in the morning and I can’t sleep because once again, I have to stay up because my son forgot that he had to wash his baseball uniform for a game in the morning. Of course he told me this at 12:30am. So here I sit waiting for the washer to stop so I can throw it all in the dryer!

See what I mean? He’s in bed sleeping…I’m awake doing laundry. I rest my case!!