My brain took an unscheduled Vacation

Do you ever get the feeling that your brain went on a vacation and forgot to tell you? Well I woke up this morning and my body went to work, but my brain went to the Jamaica. The entire morning my mind has been hanging out in the “greenroom” of the Tonight Show, while the rest of my body has been trying to pull it together.

I was sitting in a meeting with a group of people for this big project that I’m on. I’m one of the veterans on the team; and I’m looking at this acronym “SOP”, for the life of me I can’t figure out what that means. Any other day, I would have known and never done what I did next, but I just had to open my big mouth, “Hey, what does SOP stand for.” I ask, and its like an out of body experience because I’m standing back and I can see all of this taking place. Its scary out here!

I apparently just grew two heads and 27 arms because from the looks I just got and the jaws that dropped, that’s how BAD my question was. “That would be Standard Operating Procedure.”

I knew that! I know that. I can’t believe that those words just came out of my mouth. I wanted to curl up into a fetal position and disappear under the table. And I’ve got new Project Managers in this meeting who now think I’m a complete imbecile. And I am one of their lead testers. Great, they must have all of the confidence in the world right now!!

Who told my brain it could take a day off??

But, I’m not done, things get better! So my meeting was on the 20th floor today. And instead of taking the regular elevators, my co-workers and I take the freight elevator which allows us access to every floor instead only specific floors. Otherwise we’d have to go all the way to the lobby and switch elevators to get back to the 6th floor.

Well, we get on the elevator and since I’m operating without a brain today I hit the BASEMENT button. I have no idea why, except for the fact that I used to work in the basement. Well here’s the thing about the basement button, once its selected, no other button can be entered until you go to the basement.

So we had to go to the basement first and wouldn’t you know there was a guy in the basement with a ton of equipment (it was the freight elevator after all) to get on and go to the 5th floor! The floor BELOW ours. So we had to wait for this guy to get on and load all his crap. Then we could push our floor – 6 – go to his floor 5 – get off and unload all his crap – then we finally got off the elevator 15 minutes later.

We would have been better off going to the lobby and riding two elevators to begin with. At this point I just want to crawl under a rock and die because two of my co-workers are talking in Hindi and I heard my name mentioned once. My boss is making fun of me and I know he’s never going to let me live this down and I’m convinced now more than ever, that my brain is staging a coup!

I need a Diet Dr. Pepper. Maybe a little bribery will bring things back in line.