I'm not sure where to begin, but at the beginning. I've not talked to certain members of my family in about six months. Nor do I plan on ever talking to them again. The reasons don't matter, as I take responsibility for those events, but there comes a time when you need to just let go of everyone because you can't keep the family divided. I've learned that my feelings have seriously hardened my heart and I really don't care if I ever hear another word about them again. I've tried to apologize for past transgressions, but after awhile, apologies fall on deaf ears.
I've done a lot of things in my life that I am not proud of. I've struggled as a single parent my entire adult life. And as far as I'm concerned, I've done the best job that I knew how. I can no longer hold onto the hope that certain family will approve of the decisions that I've made. I'm moving on and leaving them behind. I will no longer live with a family divided. It's not fair to my children, myself, or whomever else might be involved.
I will have my family, and they can have theirs. I am, as of now, orphaned. I have no past, only a future that my children and I will build together, alone.
4 comments:
It hurts my heart to hear this. As you know, I know a little about estrangement from family. I know that my God is a God of reconciliation, and I hope that His will is that this is not forever. Know that I am praying for you.
There comes a point where you just have to move on and that's what I'm choosing to do.
I know from experience what that is like for me it is with my parents. I still struggle to this day. At first it seems easy to just act like they don't exist, but after time goes by and that desire for family comes, and it is really hard and painful. I very much wish it was not so frequently. I hope that you stay strong and know I completely understand what this is like. It is a constant struggle in my heart, I hope you will have an easier go of it.
good for you for moving forward!
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