People are way to complex for me!

I'm glad that I only have a few more days of my part time job left because there's only so much more drama that I can take. Without going into detail for legal reasons...I had the biggest shock of my life last night! I've truly lost faith in humanity.

I have to wonder what drives people to do the things that they do. I guess desperation maybe? I'm not sure, but I was really disappointed last night in a particular person that I'd helped several times in my store. She was very nice and always friendly. I guess that should have been my first clue; someone trying to be overly friendly!

Regardless, a couple of bruises later, I've learned a great lesson, you really CAN'T trust anyone!! No matter how sweet or innocent someone might appear, they probably have a sinister side that you don't see until its to late.

I would just suggest that everyone be very cautious of those you think you might know because there's no telling who or what might be lurking around the corner.

DOT - Pure Geniuses!!!

So I'm leaving my house today...in a fairly good mood. I get to the entrance to the highway - Central Expressway (75 S) and I notice its not moving nor is the service road. Well I've no where to go, so I hop on the entrance ramp and wait my turn. I figure its an accident and I'll get through the mangled mess eventually. Boy, was I sorely mistaken - but I don't want to jump ahead to quickly.

So I decide to plug in the iPod and jam to some tunes. My car speakers start to poor out the sounds of Journey's "Greatest Hits." As I sing along to "Open Arms" I'm reminded of my childhood when the song was first released and my friends that I used to hang out with. I remember going to the skating rink and couples skating to this song. Haha, funny the things that you remember right?

Well the song ends and the next one comes on and at this point I realize that I haven't moved ONE SINGLE INCH!!!!! I look around me and see others in their cars with the same glazed over looks in their eyes, like - WTF is going on here?

I try and look around the cars to see if I can glance any emergency lights in the distance - nope - nothing - nada - a caravan of brake lights as far as the eye can see. Well this does not help my cause. I decide that Journey needs to take a pause and switch on the radio to see if I can catch a traffic report. Surely they will update the status of this monstrosity that is Central Expressway. I mean this is a main artery into downtown Dallas for goodness sake. Someone has to know what is going on!

I wait for the "Traffic on the Five" report on the news with anticipation. My palms are beginning to sweat and my heart is beating faster! I mean its like I'm back in high school and trying out for the cheer leading squad again. Will they mention 75? Will I finally find out the fate of this treacherous highway that has now had me sitting in the same spot for 20 minutes?

The Traffic comes and goes and NO MENTION of Central Expressway at all. What - are you kidding me? There has to be some mistake! OR is it? Maybe whatever happened has been cleaned up and we're going to start moving any second now.

I start to relax putting faith in the news media. I mean if there was an issue they'd let me know about it right? They know people are trying to get to work. I switchback to the iPod and crank up the volume. This time - I opt for something my upbeat - I pull out a little Madonna and Justin Timberlake! From there it just spirals out of control, REO Speed wagon, George Michael, David Cook, Dean Martin, Duffy, Eagles, Jason Mraz, Kelly Clarkson.....

WAIT...I'm still not moving!!! It's been another 30 minutes! I've only gotten about 1/2 mile and there's no where for me to go! I can't get off - the service road is packed FULL of cars! Something is seriously wrong!! I switch back to the radio - and this time - I switch to another station hunting for a traffic report...again NOTHING!!

Now - I'm Pissed! I've got thoughts going trough my head that are not so nice. I'm cursing in silence. Which I actually wonder if you curse someone out in your head - does that count as if you were to do it face to face - or out loud? I'm a little concerned about that. If so, I have a lot of repentance to work on after this morning's episode. Personal note - call the bishop for a lengthy conversation!!

I take another look around and notice the dude next to me hitting his head on the steering wheel. I laugh and he happens to look directly at me at the same time I start laughing. He does the same thing. I mean seriously people - what else can we do but laugh? We're not moving and the temperature is already 80 something degrees out at 8:45 in the morning. Ugh! Its pathetic really.

OK, I’m not going to drag this out any longer….It took me 1:45 minutes to go 2 ½ miles. And do you want to know what the issue was?? The Texas Department of Transportation decided to CLOSE down 75 S at 8am on a Wednesday morning to ONE LANE for road construction.

What engineering genius thought that up??? I mean really, did someone loose a bet and the rest the North Dallas area had to suffer for his/her wise decision? I’d just like to shake this person’s hand; because what should have been a 25 minute commute for me took me two hours this morning. It was awesome!

I’m just glad to see the bail out dollars at work Mr. President! Good Job!! Give these guys a raise – obviously they are doing a BANG UP JOB!!!!

I know I said I wouldn't...But I couldn't help myself!

Ok, So I'm sure the majority of you have forgotten my hissy fit I threw with the last season of The Bachelor. Well somehow, ABC has done it again and sucked me into this season of The Bachelorette!!

Honestly, I was hoping to go the entire season in the closet without anyone knowing that i was watching it; and I was doing a GREAT job too. That is until last night's episode aired! Ugh!

Ed - You left Jilly for your job!! Srsly? I've never seen a Dude give back a rose before!! But then to see Jillian go into hysterics like she did - OM Goodness - Jillian - momma - PLEASE!!!

Darn it ABC!!!

First of all I have a few questions:

1. Where do you get these applicants?? 1-800-Loserville?
2. How freaking gullible do you think we are? (Wait don't answer that question since I'm already into week 6 and haven't missed an episode.)
3. This is the BACHELORETTE - Not "Guy Code Central". Not one of these guys will throw the other under the bus and fess up - WTF???

NONE of these guys deserve to be with Jillian in my opinion! But the BIGGEST LOSER of all is Wes. Not only does Wes have a girlfriend waiting on him back home - that no one will fess up to Jillian about - he's Self Promoting his own Country Music Album!!! What a pig!!! The whole thing is disgusting.

I saw this movie called "The Gathering". It was about a church from the first century that was found buried in England and in the church was a depiction of the crucifixion of Jesus Christ and many anonymous persons watching it. Well these "people" were not bad people, they were just spectators, if you will. But because they chose to stop and watch that horrific event that day and not intercede to help Christ, they were condemned to walk the Earth for eternity and watch different "tragedies" unfold. Such as the Holocaust, Hiroshima, Kennedy Assassination, etc. And this was called "the gathering."

That's how I feel about the Bachelor and Bachelorette shows! Because I watched it the very first time - I'm now condemned to watch these horrific shows unfold and never allowed to intercede on anyone's behalf. Its tragic really. And I actually get excited when the new season starts. Why??? Its all going to end the same anyway.

When are these sick people going to learn that you cannot find love:

1. On TV with no privacy
2. In a few weeks time
3. While dating 25 other men/ women at the same time
4. While having Producers tell you who should stay on the show and who should probably go

I don't know....I'm just saying....

Not sure what the Furture holds

Sometimes, we come to a fork in the road and we're not really sure which direction we're suppose to go. One path looks well worn and so you immediately know that everyone has gone down that road. But the other is more over grown and less visible; yet something deep inside of you keeps calling out to you to go that direction. Do you dare take that step towards the unknown? How to you make that decision?

Can you flip a coin? I suppose you could. Heads you go left like everyone else before you; Tails you go right; on a grand adventure into the great unknown. But in doing do so, your decision affects the lives of everyone around you.

I've got big decisions to make for myself and my children. The choices that I am making will effect them and their futures. As my oldest is going off to college next year, its not him that I'm worried so much about as it is my youngest. He is a very impressionable young man still trying to find himself.

But he's also made his opinions known and his desires are similar to my own. I just wonder if he truly understands the implications of the changes in our lives once we make them. I love my children with all my heart and soul. I would truly die for them and I just want to do what is best for them. But isn't there a time in our lives when we have to start living too?

I've been a single mom for 18 years. Yes, you heard me, it will be 18 years in August when my sweet son turns 17! I've never married. All I've ever done is work and raise my kids. I now have this incredible opportunity to move to Seattle, Washington and be with the man I love after my oldest son graduates in June of 2010.

But that also requires me moving my youngest away from family that he adores and that adores him. Ultimately it needs to be his decision. if he wants to move, he will be 12 years old, he is legally old enough to make that choice on his own. But I wonder if he really knows what it will be like away from his Dad, step-mom and younger brothers. I am seriously struggling with this as a Mother. I wouldn't be human if I didn't.

I am not responsible for his brothers as they are not my children, but I love those boys as if they were my own. And I know how much they love my son. He is their older brother and he loves them dearly. To go from seeing him every weekend to once a month and only on holidays is a big change for them.

I know that which ever path my son takes, I will support his decision, because I love him and I trust him. I've put my trust in the LORD as I know where he wants me to be. My future is in Washington. I'm not sure what he has in store for my son but I hope that its with me.

What ever decision Connor makes I love him. He's my son and he will always be my son. And he's got a great Dad that loves him enough to want to fight for him. But at least we're smart enough to work together for the safety and well being of our son. Because we know that that is what ultimately is the most important thing.

Where are your Manners?

I've kind of lost my faith in humanity. Its sad really. I go about my day and see people just minding their own business not caring about anyone around them. I can't tell you the last time that someone held the door for me or said hello to me in the elevator just because they wanted to be nice. We all just seem to mind our own business and don't want to get involved with the world moving around us.

I'm constantly baffled at the rude behavior that people demonstrate on a daily basis. Is it just me? Am I too sensitive? Let me give you an example:

I was in the mall yesterday and there was a young mother with two small kids. One was in the stroller under 1 years old. The other couldn't have been more than 2 and a half. She was carrying the toddler and came to the escalator wither her stroller and obviously had quite a dilemma on her hands as she wanted to hold her toddler and needed to get the baby in the stroller down as well. Now I know what you're thinking - why didn't she take an elevator? There was no elevator anywhere in sight!

So here is this poor women trying to figure out how to manage this obstacle, meanwhile, five men walk up and walk AROUND her and go down the escalator. Now I saw all of this because I was coming Up the escalator. I couldn't believe it. I got to the top as this poor woman was near tears. I took the stroller from her so she could hold the toddler and then helped her down the escalator. She couldn't have been more grateful. It took 5 minutes of my time and I was able to help someone in need.

And although I really wanted to curse those men to Hell and damnation, I gave them the benefit of the doubt. I just decided that our society has become so jaded and self absorbed, that they just didn't know any better. And that is how most people react in our society today. And it makes me sad.

If you take anything away from this ranting of mine, please take this, remember those around you. Extend a courtesy to someone in need or just say hello. A smile and greeting go a long way in these troubled times.

Have a nice day everyone.

I'm alive!!

I've been sick and not up to writing on my blog lately. But I'm doing better and I thought that I'd let you all know I am ALIVE!!!

But I will let you know that I'm VERY happy that my Redwings are kicking serious butt in the Stanley Cup playoffs. I'm holding out hopes for a Redwing / Penguins rematch now.

And if my Redwings win, then my sweetie will have to buy me a pink Zetterberg Jersey. :-)

GO WINGS!!!!!

What's up with the Swine Flu, the Media and Stupid People?

All of the schools around me are closing down out of fear that this flu bug will spread to all the kids. Seriously, I think that the media is doing more harm than good in this situation. I think that they have a responsibility to "Stop the Insanity."

What ever happened to Susan Powter? We could really use her crazy antics about now!

They have created more of the mass hysteria than necessary. People definitely need to be cautious. They need to wash their hands and avoid others that are sick. I mean, that's common sense.

Cover your mouth when you cough. Don't sneeze on your neighbor. If you're running a fever, or not feeling well, for God's sake STAY HOME people!! And certainly don't send your kid to school so they rest of our kids get sick.


But close the entire school district for a week and a half? Really?? Cancel all sporting events and field trips?

And then our brilliant Vice President gets on NATIONAL television and tells the world that he wouldn't put his family on an airplane right now! Way to go Mr. Biden, that's the way to reduce fears and calm the American public. That will help the economy.

If everyone would step back and really take a look at what's going on, its a media frenzy more than a flu outbreak! There are more media stories about the Flu than confirmed cases of the flu. Its ridiculous really when you think about it.

Don't pay the doctor for advice because all he's going to say is this: Drink lots of fluids, get plenty of rest, and keep a box of Puff Plus by your bed. You'll feel better in about a week.

Get out the broom...

Cause the Wings just swept the series!!

Yes, that right my fellow hockey fans, my RELIABLE Redwings pulled off the sweep and took the 1st round against the Columbus Blue Jackets in 4 games.

That just goes to show you that nothing good comes from Ohio! So now we wait and see who's going to win to pair us up for round two.

All I can say is Ozzie's on a roll and he's got a score to settle from regular season people!

Go Wings!! Keep the Cup in Hockeytown, USA!

My Five Year Old Companion

You know when you take a flight and its packed to the gills with screaming kids and complaining passengers? Well I had that experience going to Seattle this past weekend. But I had the most interesting seat mate on my journey.

I was exhausted. I had stayed up all night the previous evening packing and getting my kids laundry done. So all I wanted to do was sleep. The plane ride was four and a half hours long. That would be a perfect nap to take before I reached Seattle. Jared and I had plans for going out and the last thing that I wanted to be was tired and grumpy for our date.

So I settled in ready to take a nice little snooze. Until I heard this sweet little voice…

“What your name is?” I opened one eye, not sure if I heard what I thought I heard. And I saw the biggest brown eyes on a little boy I’ve ever seen in my life. He had this cute little grin and his red ball cap was jarred slightly to the left; making his head look just a tad lopsided. But he could not have been sweeter if I added whipped cream and a cherry.

“My name is Melissa. What’s your name?” His mother was sitting right next to me and mouthed the words “I’m sorry.” I let her know it was ok and continued my conversation with my new friend.

“My name is Zachary.” But there is a shorter way to say that.”

“There is?” I said. Acting as if I had no clue what that might be.

“Yes, it’s Zach. Did you know that?”

“Well, Yes, Zach, I did know that. But I didn’t know that’s what you went by. It’s very nice to meet you.” And I offered my hand out.

He looked back at his mother and said “Is she a stranger? Can I touch her?”

I had to laugh because at this point, he had already passed the point of “Don’t Talk to Strangers” as his mother very well knew. She looked at me and smiled and then looked at little Zach.

“This time I think its okay because I’m here with you.” She told him.

“My Mom said that I can touch you.”

And at that point Little Zach shook my hand. Zach and I talked about all sorts of neat things. Like who had the cooler toys Iron Man or Batman. (Batman won) Who would win in a fight: Godzilla or Tyrannosaurus Rex. (Godzilla – but it was a close call) Zach talked about the fact that he can’t wait for the new Transformer movie to come out this summer. And how hard it is being 5 and having 4 older sisters!

WOW! He’s got a tough life!! Little Zach was heading home to Fairbanks Alaska. He had been visiting family in Louisiana. A new baby cousin had just been born. So he informed me that HE was no longer the BABY of the family. He was a big boy now.

And rightly so. Then unexpectedly, I got this wonderful declaration from a five year old little boy,

“I love you.”

I look at him. His big brown eyes all filled with hope and not a care in the world. This little angel that doesn’t have bills to worry about. He doesn’t have to worry about his kids and where he’s going to get the money to pay for their college. There’s nothing sinister about him, he doesn’t want anything from me; Just a simple little boy who met a stranger on an airplane and decided to start a conversation.

“I love you,” He said again. “Wait I said that already.” And at that moment I had an overwhelming feeling of Hope for mankind and it was all wrapped up in this small brown eyed little boy.

“I love you too.” I said back to him. And I did. I really did. It wasn’t something I just said to say. I really did love this cute little boy that made my long unbearable flight an incredible journey for me.

Zachary went on to Fairbanks and I got off in Seattle. I’ll never see him again. But I’ll also never forget him.

Every single Birthday is Special

I am getting ready to leave on a trip to see Jared for his birthday this weekend. And it gives me time to reflect on the past year that we've spent together and the bond that we've built in our relationship. I'm so blessed that I have this chance to spend this special day with him and share in the celebration of his birth.


I know that as we get older we have a tendency to stop celebrating our birthdays and just brush them under the rug. We let them silently slip by in hopes that no one noticed that we turned one year older. The fact that I pulled three more grey hairs from my head this morning has nothing to do with the fact that the number of candles on my birthday cake went up this year.


I don't feel any older. Why should I care that I'm celebrating a birthday in October that gives people permission to stop buying me nice cute gifts and in turn give me gifts that are intended for one going into a nursing home. Its just a number and we really are only as old as we feel.

I'm really excited to get to Seattle tomorrow and see Jared and spend time with him and his daughters. Even though its only been about eight weeks since we've seen each other, it seems like its been eight months. Time seems to stand still when you're separated from the one's that you love.

We don't have a lot planned, just some quite family time. But it will be meaningful and fun all the same. I wish that my boys were going to be with me as well. That would make this trip all the more sweeter. But once again Alex has Baseball games and Connor has missed too much school already from the flu this year. So they'll just have to wait until the summer trip to journey to the Pacific Northwest with me.

My Heavenly Father has blessed me and my family so much this past year. I wish the same for all of you and yours. As we celebrate in HIS glorious Resurrection this Easter season, I hope that you can all remember that we are all special children of God and so worthy of the sacrifice that he made for each and every one of us.

No matter what trials are plaguing us today, nothing can compare to the suffering that our Lord accepted as his punishment so many years ago so that we might know Eternal Salvation. So revel in that Glory and embrace your BIRTHDAY. Whether that be your day of actual birth or the day of your RE-Birth into the kingdom of Heaven. We are all worthy of that Celebration and Praise!

Go sing on a mountaintop today, Heavenly Father is always listening!

Emotional Roller Coaster for One Please

Emotional roller coasters are so hard to deal with. The constant tossing and turning of your insides is enough to make the strongest stomach hurl up their lunch. It doesn't matter what the situation, we all have our baggage. Whether its kids, relationships, parents, job, whatever - its there and its waiting to take you on the next thrill ride of your life.

But is it fair of us to drag those we love into the adventure with us? What if they don't like the shock wave antics of the loop-da-loop? Did we ever take that into consideration before we drug them into the front seat and strapped them down? Or did we just assume that they'd go along for the ride as an active participant because they are always willing to try the next big thing?

And at what point do we draw the line and decide enough is enough? When your barf bag is filled to overflowing? When your friend is green at the gills and can't breathe without choking. I would say, that's probably a good time to shut up!

No one wants to hear the same thing over and over again. I realize that we all have issues and carry around about 27 suitcases worth of useless baggage. But honestly, who is it helping? Are you deriving any pleasure from bringing it up again and again? I'm not. I've found that all I'm doing is hurting those I love.

We need to let that baggage go! Go find the highest building or bridge you can find and open those suitcases and just start throwing out the junk people! Get rid of all of the vomit and trash that you've been lugging around for months or even years. Throw it off the building and watch it drop down into oblivion.

Gone from your life are the issues that have plagued you! Gone from your life are the challenges that have stopped you from achieving your goals. And gone from your life is the sorrow and pain that has held you back from living your life.

Now dump those suitcases that carried those issues around because you don't need those anymore either! We're no longer going to collect baggage. We're beginning new lives now - Baggage Free!

See how much lighter you feel? Now go by a new dress and a pair of shoes. I'll bet you're a size smaller. =)

A Class Act Organization!

I am truly humbled by the reaction of the Angels Organization with the tragic death of pitcher Nick Adenhart, 22. They have truly reached out to the family as well as fans of Adenhart. But they also remembered that there were two other people that were killed in that car accident by a drunk driver. Henry Pearson, 25, and Courtney Stewart, 20, also were killed that day.

The blood alcohol limit of the driver that broadsided the car Adenhart was in was three times the legal limit. After running a red light and slamming his minivan into the Mitsubishi Eclipse, the suspect (whom I refuse to name) fled the scene on foot. I'm disgusted that he was even left alive after what he did to those three individuals. But the fact that he was able to walk away, pisses me off even more.

I am glad to know that the loser is being charged with three counts of murder for their deaths. I also feel very sorry for his family. The fact that they have to live with this retched family member's mistake for the rest of their lives as well is a sad daily reminder for them.

Its just a devastating loss to loose a gifted player so young. But to see veteran players like Torii Hunter walk up to the pitcher's mound with Adenhart's jersey in hand and then the ENTIRE stadium goes quiet is an amazing sight to behold. This happened before the announcer ever said a word. The fans took it upon themselves to quiet down and give Adenhart, Pearson and Stewart the moment of silence that they deserved.

The Angel's Organization has realized that this is not a publicity ripe opportunity for them. They are focusing on their players, the family and friends. They are offering them the counseling and support that they need in order to get through this hard tragedy. They've had the parents meet with the players so each can express their feelings to one another.

I am just very impressed at how they have reached out and not made it about them. It has renewed my love of baseball. Some how its no longer about the money and how much someone's contract is worth. Its about the players and their love of the game and each other. And I for one just want to say Good Job!

Where does all of our time go?

My oldest son Alex has picked a specific university to correspond with that he is interesting in attending after graduation next June. I submitted his online paperwork today to get the application process started for him.


WOW, How did my little red haired baby boy grow up so fast? I remember him on his first day of kindergarten and how excited he was; now he's applying to colleges and planning the rest of his future. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy that he's taking an interest and being proactive; but I'm sad that the last 12 years of schooling seem like a big blur.

I don't know if I'm ready for him to go off to college and begin that whole new chapter in his life. I've been his only support his entire life.


Is that how the rest of my life is going to go? You blink your eyes and you miss the birth of your child. You sneeze and your child graduates school. I missed my 20th high school reunion last summer. Twenty years! That's just amazing to me. I still remember Clarice Tinsley from CBS here in Dallas speaking at my graduation. It seems like it was just yesterday, but it will be 21 years ago this coming June.


Its not that I'm feeling old, that's not the problem; its that I feel like I've missed things. I feel like my kids have grown up in front of me but I've been wearing blinders that are only open certain times of the day. Before I know it my youngest will be driving! Ugh, God help us all.

Its just sad how fast the time goes and we don't realize it until our kiddos are grown and gone from the house. I don't know what I'm going to do once Alex is gone away to school and I can't see him everyday. He's my first born, my sweet baby. I won't be able to see his sweet face every day. Now I'm sure that he would say that's a blessing, I think its sad. I'll miss him. But i know that at some point we need to let our "babies" go and move on to live their own lives.

I just don't know if I'm ready to cut those strings yet. Its going to be hard. I spoil my kids way to much and I know that in order for them to survive in today's society I need to teach them to sink or swim otherwise I will be doing them a huge disservice. They will never learn to take care of themselves if momma is constantly supporting them and giving them money.

So I'm ready to back up and let Alex make his own mistakes and learn his lessons. I just hope that I can be a good teacher and learn patience in the process. Because as we all know, every opportunity is a learning opportunity.

I'm a Horrible Person, But Forgiveness is Forgiveness

So I'm not a fan of the TV show "Sex in the City". But I did happen to see the movie while I was stuck in bed sick. Why did I watch the movie if I never watched the show? Because I was too sick to try and find my remote control so I watched it like three times. The good thing is, I kept falling asleep so I think between the three times it was on, I've seen it only once.

I will tell you that I think Jennifer Hudson is a fantastic actress and she deserved that Oscar she won for Dreamgirls. But I digress as that is not the topic of my story today....

In my foggy haze of sickness I gathered that the main character Carrie was left at the alter by her fiance Jon "Big" Preston and that Miranda's husband Steve has had an affair because he feels un-needed by Miranda. Now whether that's how it really happened, is not the point. There was a scene in the movie that I did watch that struck a chord with me.

Carrie and Miranda were sitting in a cab after having had an argument and Miranda was begging Carrie to forgive her.


Carrie: "You know you badger me to forgive you after three days, but yet you won't forgive Steve after six months."

Miranda "That its completely different."

Carrie: "It's Forgiveness."

And there you go. Those two words said it all for me, Its Forgiveness. It doesn't matter if I stole a pack of gum or ran over your dog with my car, its Forgiveness. There is no fuzzy grey area. It is crystal clear, black and white. You either forgive me or you don't.

Now I'm not saying that there are not consequences for said actions, but I am saying that we should be honest when we tell someone we forgive them. There are so many of us walking around with these huge chips on our shoulders because someone made us mad or offended us in some way. We always say, "I'll forgive you If..." and attach a list of conditions onto the end of the statement.

I say, let it go. Seriously, is it that big of a deal to waste one more bit of your energy on the situation. Just forgive and forget. If you've wronged someone, apologize. Reach out to that person, own up to it and take responsibility for what it is you've done wrong. Even if it is hard and you have to swallow your pride. "Man up" as Jared would say.

I know I'm trying to. I'm estranged from my parents right now. I wronged them. My past actions caused the estrangement and I take that responsibility on fully by myself. But I've also asked forgiveness so now the choice is up to them. They either accept my apology and we move forward or they don't and I'm left without two parent's that I love very much.

This Sunday is the Celebration of the Resurrection of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I hope that you are all reminded that he died on that cross for ALL of our sins; not just ones that he thought were worthy. Every one of us is worthy of HIS Forgiveness. All you have to do is ask.

Because I know I will continue to ask until I right the wrong I caused. I'm not a bad person, I've just made mistakes in my past that have hurt others. And there just comes a time when enough is enough and they just have to close the door to shut out the pain. Now I have to work on getting that door opened again.

And with Heavenly Father's help, I know that eventually I'll be able to do that. Maybe not in this life time, but I'll do my very best.

Because like I said, Forgiveness is Forgiveness.

Sleep never came....But an idea did!

OK, so once again, I had trouble sleeping last night. No surprise! As I was rolling around in the very large bed I share with the dog and cats, I had an Epiphany!

All of these Corporate Giants (I use that term loosely) that ran these billion dollar companies into the ground and then had the government bale them out; only to receive several million dollar bonuses in return should have to take their entire annual income - including all bonuses and write a check to all those Americans that lost their jobs or 401K accounts.I know that this wouldn't amount to many, but I figured it was a start.

And then, we should go and have a massive garage sale of all their stuff and see how much money we can liquidate their assets for cash. Again, check to those individuals who lost their jobs and 401K accounts.

Then lets have a foreclosure auction and sell all their houses in the Hampton's, Palm Springs, Florida, and wherever else they happen to have land/properties. I figure we could come up with the $36K the government is demanding that each American individual cover for this corporate screw up.

If we take all the corporate property away from them and sell it off, maybe we'll have enough money left over to buy them all a one way ticket to Hell - because that's where they all belong. And I know just the Bus driver to take them there! Mr. Madoff is earning his license as we speak.

Movies with Memories

You know when you hear a certain song or see a certain movie, it brings a memory back that was really special to you? Well that happened to me this past weekend.

Mine happens to be a movie, and that movie happens to be "Fried Green Tomato's." Now if you're a Dude and you've never seen this movie, its still a great flick, and I suggest you secretly put it in your Netflix queue and watch it!  I love it and every time I see it I am reminded of my very best friend Amy.

Let me take you back a few years....It just happened to be a few months before Amy gave birth to her daughter. She went into premature labor at work and walked over to my cube to tell me she was having contractions.  Well I can't remember why, but for some strange reason, her husband wasn't able to take her to the hospital and he would meet her there later. So since I have the honor of being her best friend, I took her.  We got her in a room in her cute little "I don't cover anything" gown and tucked in her bed.  

So there we were. Amy tucked tight under the covers in bed. And me right next to her, holding her hand telling her everything was going to be alright.  

One thing you need to know about sweet Amers is that she is very holistic and careful about the things she puts in her body.  She doesn't take medicine if its unnecessary.  This is not some whim that she's adopted, she's been this way as long as I've known her. And I love her for it.  

So anyway,  This Horrid nurse walks in, demanding Amy allow her to give her this medication that will stop the contractions.  Well Amy is in FREAK OUT stage now people.  Because "Ugly Nurse Betty" (that's what we'll call her) is basically telling Amy that she's going to kill her baby if she doesn't take the meds because the baby will deliver too early.  

Whoa Ugly Nurse Betty! Could you be more of a Drama Queen? If she doesn't want to take the medication, she doesn't want to take the meds.  We all know that AMy would never kill her baby - but Ugly Nurse Betty is being VERY mean to Amy and trying to scare her into taking the medication.  I ask Ugly Nurse Betty if Amers can call her husband before she administers the drugs.  Just to talk about it with him.  That was agreed and Nurse Betty stormed out of the room.

Amers and her husband decided that it was in the baby's best interest to take the medication so this is where the tale begins....because once Amy agreed to Ugly Nurse Betty's demands, she became...Angel Nurse Betty.

And this is where "Fried Green Tomato's" enters our story because Nurse Betty brought Amers and me a VCR and some movies to watch while we waited for her contractions to stop.  All the while we talked about the baby, names, how her son was going to feel about having a sibling, and just a lot other things. We laughed alot!! =)

But the fact that she and I watched this movie together and built a bond that will last our lifetime means so much to me. We learned things about each other that we might never have had the chance to talk about.  But when you're sitting in a hospital room, you have all kinds of time.

You might be asking me, why I'm bringing this up?  Well this weekend while I was laying in bed sick, "Fried Green Tomato's" came on Showtime.  I watched that movie three times and every time I watched it I thought of Amy and that hospital room and her sweet daughter who shares my middle name.  I cried every time I watched it because I love Amy, her three children and her husband like they are my own family.  And I do consider them my family.

We have such wonderful people in our lives and are so blessed to share those experiences with them.  I called Amy over the weekend just to let her know that I was thinking about her and that I watched that movie.  We need to let the people in our lives know they are important. Tell them how you feel.  Because you never know if you're going to get that chance again.  You never know when the Lord is going to call you or them home.

Love on your Children,  Family and Friends.  Because I promise you that you will get the same in return!

What's your Opinion?

I had a discussion with some very old family friends yesterday and it came up that I converted to the Mormon faith. A decision that I'm very happy about. But she was curious as to my decision to change from Catholicism to Mormonism. Well this in turn led to a deeper discussion about ALL faiths and then it came out that one of my friends doesn't believe in organized religion at all.

That was a blow to me.  I am very close to this person. I know this person to have been raised in the church and I thought that she had a strong testimony of our Heavenly Father.  I was apparently very wrong.  She believes that the Bible is just a historical book written by people of no significance and thrown together. 

I get great peace and joy from reading my Scriptures on a daily basis.  In one instance she is correct, the Bible is a historical record; its a historical record of the beginning of all existence.  Its a record of the crucifixion and suffering of Jesus Christ. Its a record of the glorious Resurrection of our savior. And its a record of what is to come and how we should be preparing. 

I asked her how she feels when she walks into a church and she said "nothing."  I was heartbroken.  She asked me what I felt and I told her that I feel an overwhelming sense of peace and love. She had a look of shock on her face; like she was dumbstruck.

I have to be honest, I love going to church.  I enjoy reading my scriptures and spending time in prayer.  My quiet time with my Heavenly Father is my favorite time of the day.  

I understand that that are thousands of different religions in the world.  And we all have different beliefs.  I'm curious what your Faith practice is and how you feel.  I'd love to hear from all of you that read my blog.  

And please don't hold back.  I'm not here to judge you; I honestly want to know.

Kelly Clarkson...ROCKS!

Chores, chores, chores! We all have them! They're a bummer but we have to do them to keep our homes in order. Well last night I wasn't feeling well and I couldn't sleep - again - so I put my ear buds in, from the iPod and cranked on the current single from American Sweetheart Kelly Clarkson, "My Life Would Suck Without You."

So here I am, tunes a-go-go...clothes piled on the bed and I'm folding away. All of the sudden I start nodding my head slowly to the beat of the music. Back and forth, in perfect time with the drums and then a little guitar sneaks in and my shoulders join in the movement. Al the while, I'm folding my son's baseball uniform from the game the night before.

This is all subconscious reaction on my behalf. Kelly's singing along..."Cuz we belong together now, Forever united here somehow, you got a piece of me, And honestly" I've now moved on to some towels.....

The hips are moving back and forth now people! I decide at this point to throw caution to the wind start singing at a low whisper. That lasts all of three words!

I am now at a full yell ~ MY LIFE WOULD SUCK WITHOUT YOU! Sing it girl.

Now I'm dancing around the room! Forget the laundry....Kelly and I need this....

"Maybe I was stupid for telling you goodbye, Maybe I was wrong for tryin’ to pick a fight, I know that I’ve got issues, But you’re pretty messed up too, Anyway, I found out I’m nothing without you"

Wooohoooo......Oooppps, Interruption, Son walked in.....embarrassing. He's 11 - he joins in.....Back to Kelly........

"My life would suck without you, Being with you is so dysfunctional, I really shouldn’t miss you, but I can’t let go, Oh yeah"

Wow!! That was Fun!

Let's do it again......I'll fold clothes tomorrow.

Crazy American's...really are we?

Alright, I'm going to vent about something. I work in a lab with a lot of foreign individuals and they were actually complaining to me about the lack of jobs available to them because of people from their country coming over and taking the jobs away.

Really? Are you complaining to me about the lack of American jobs availalbe to you. I honestly had no response to them. And then they proceeded to rant on about how they felt sorry for the Chairman of GM that was "forced" to resign after reducing his salary to $1.00 a year. Hello, I'm sorry, what planet did you step off from that a $25 million pension wasn't an acceptable severance package?

Seriously, they were upset because he was made to be the fall guy? Okay, lets step back a minute and re-evalute things. I am a running a multi-billion dollar corporation. Its sales are in the toilet, I'm bleeding money out every pore and my executives don't seem to know what the phrase "stop spending" means. Should I still keep my job? I think not.

I find it interesting that Americans and foreigners living in America have differing views on American politics. Yes, we helped bail out the failing Auto industry, but just because we helped them, doesn't mean that someone didn't have to pay for the screw up to begin with. But their opinion is that who better to fix the problem than the people that have been working there and know the industry.

Well I agree with that on a certain level, I also agree those are the same individuals that got us in this mess to begin with. We might seem like crazy Americans to the rest of the world, but why is the rest of the world trying to cross our borders? Why is the rest of the world coming to our country and taking our American jobs? America must be doing something right, even if we are in a recession right now, we're still leading the pack.

Sibling Squables...We've all had them

Ok, those of you with children will appreciate my blog today. Brothers are something that I never had to deal with growing up. I have two sisters. My younger sister and I were inseparable as kids. We did everything together. We had a lot of the same friends and played a lot of the same games, toys, activities etc. Well I had less in common with my older sister, she was three and half years older than me and she was off scouting boys with her girl friends when I was still throwing my Barbie doll off the end of the boat dock to see if Barbie could swim. (Barbie’s pool was not nearly big enough.)

Well my boys are at a disadvantaged five and a half years apart. And although they love each other unconditionally, right now, I know that Alex wishes he was an only child. For some strange reason, unbeknownst to me, or Alex, Connor has gotten into his little head that Alex will take him to school on Monday mornings.

Now Alex has power lifting on certain days. On those days, Alex leaves very early in the morning and returns to the house as the rest of us are actually climbing out of bed. So SOMETIMES, Alex will ask Connor if he’d like a ride to school. The fact that Connor has a cool older brother that plays Varsity Football and Baseball; and he’s offered to drive him to school, that rates way above the yellow school bus! So Connor has now decided that this should happen every Monday regardless of Alex’s schedule.

Well this morning Alex didn’t have Power lifting due to a game this evening and Connor missed his bus ride. And let me just say….it was not pretty. When you wake a teenager that has an additional hour of sleep left, that is not a pretty site. To top that off, add to that his little brother who says, “Well he always takes me on Mondays so I didn’t hurry.”

Yup, not the right response from the ten year old.

So needless to say, chaos ensued at my house this morning. I had the older one refusing to take the younger one. I have the younger one yelling that “Alex is going to kill me once he gets me in the car!” They can be such drama queens at ten.

Finally I’d had enough. My head was killing me and I was trying to get ready for work. I didn’t need all of these theatrics before a long day at the office. Your home is supposed to be a place of rest and right now it was the Wild Kingdom and my boys were fighting for rights to king of the jungle.

I’m assuming that Alex eventually took Connor to school because when I got out of the shower Connor was gone and my house was quiet. I’ll have to check for Connor tonight to make sure Alex didn’t assault my youngest (haha). I keep asking Jared if its normal since he has a brother, and he assures me that brothers fight. Its what they do.

All I can say is, I don’t remember ever hauling off and decking one of my sisters; but then again, that was a long time ago. I might have gotten a few good swings in that I forgot about. But it was purely self-defense – I assure you!